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FAQs
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Here is a list of the questions we are often asked.
Click on any of the questions listed below for the answers.
If you have a question that does not appear below please contact us at 816-523-2200 and we will be happy to answer your question.
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- Why do couples seek counseling?
Partners often seek counseling when they feel misunderstood, frustrated or deeply hurt. Others seek counseling when they feel a profound sense of sadness in their relationships. These feelings may not be new, but have been there for years. This is the reason why couples that enter counseling early stand a much better chance of saving their marriages.
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- Does marriage counseling require both partners?
- There are therapists that will focus on the individual if only one of the partners is willing to seek counseling. However, this is not the ideal dynamic. Both partners must be committed to the relationship. Most trained therapists will perform therapy with just one partner, but all therapists believe it is most effective when both partners are present and engaged. If this is possible, it is advisable to first acknowledge and accept your feelings. The second is to keep communication open with your spouse.
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- What goes on in marriage therapy?
- In therapy there are no set rules. Your therapist will never take sides. The goal of the therapist is to understand both partners and to help them develop effective ways to communicate with each other. Every couple has redeeming qualities. Most of the time it is up to the therapist to help them rediscover those qualities and strengths. Often it is these qualities and strengths upon which a new foundation of communication can be built. Finally, helping couples learn how to listen to each other and to seek realistic solutions to their conflicts is a central responsibility of family and marital counseling.
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- How does therapy help when the couples want a divorce?
- Dissolution often begins with pain. For many there is a sense of sadness and a sense of helplessness. These feelings may be caused by the onset of physical and emotional separation. For most couples, the pain and sadness can reach extraordinary levels. Dissolution often starts with a period of mourning. Sadness can be accompanied by guilt and anger. Therapy can help transition through this difficult period by allowing the full range of emotions to be expressed.
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- Is it wrong to want happiness from a marriage?
- It’s not wrong; it’s just not realistic to think it will be that way all the time. The first step to saving or restoring a marriage requires both partners to confront reality. There is no such thing as eternal marital bliss. Marriage requires work and commitment. It is a conscious choice by both partners to suspend their respective egos in favor of their marriage. Often this means agreeing to give up having to be “right” in the relationship. Without such agreement, counseling could be futile.
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- Can therapy help protect children of divorce?
- Yes. Therapy emphatically discourages vindictive behavior. Emotional damage is always counterproductive, especially to children. When children are involved, a therapist will work hard to remind the parents that their focus should be on reassuring the children that the parents’ sadness was not in any way brought on by them. Parents must reassure them that what the parent is going through will not impact their relationship with either parent.
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- After a divorce can therapy help with depression and loneliness?
- Yes. Once the sadness and pain of dissolution begins to leave there is often an “identity” transition that follows. A two-person identity becomes a single identity. This transition often means relinquishing the emotional dependency in favor of establishing a new identity as a single person. This often is a painful process of self-discovery. It may involve living in a new home, exploring new interests, activities, and making new friends. During this time it is a good idea to call on trusted friends and relatives for support and encouragement.
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